When Saying Yes is Hard.

Its December, so I'm going down memory lane and thinking about our year as a family.

Some people don't know this - but the biggest thing to happen for our family this year is that we are starting to farm on our own. We said yes to farming.

And truthfully - it's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to say yes to.

Kallie, would you like this beautiful new rug? Yes. 

Kallie, do you want to have a coffee date and eat brownies? Yes.

Kallie, would you like to buy a beautiful craftsmen home that needs a little tweaking? Yes.

Kallie, would you like to jump into this world of farming, not knowing if you'll make a profit, knowing that it'll require sacrifice and understanding, time away from your husband and daily dedication? Uhh, sure? Actually, no. That doesn't sound like what I had planned for our life.

Honestly, I would have liked my husband to have a job at a bank. Hours 9-5! Every single holiday off! Let's go on a family trip over Columbus Day! No interruptions. No uncertainty. No last minute changes.

But - you know when God calls you into the unknown? He doesn't give you an outline of what to expect. And whats funny is that we might say yes and take that first "yes" step forward, and then immediately start second guessing, frantically trying to grasp control.

The song Oceans says "take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, so my faith will be made stronger, in the arms of my savior."

I was telling my Dad that I had to stop singing that song. I couldn't sing it because I didn't live it. I didn't want to because it means letting go. It means change, hardship and most likely suffering on some level. Heck no. I like my comfortable leggings life. Thankyouverymuch.

I think my problem is that I focus only on "take me deeper than my feet could ever wander" and then totally miss "so my faith will be made stronger, in the arms of my savior."

Meaning that he promises to be with us. That he would be glorified and our faith richer than before.

We can boldly say yes, approaching God in full confidence knowing when he is asking something of us - it's for our good.

Starting up a farm in 2017 is definitely is a rarity. It has it's own set of challenges that we've yet to even experience.

But my hope is locked in on the one who holds it all.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an apron that needs ironed and chickens to tend to.

Just kidding - I'm terrified of birds.