cheerleaders are friends too.

I like my friends. They are beautiful, witty, persistent, compassionate and completely life giving to me.

You know the best part about being a friend to your friends? You get to cheer them on. 

Instead of feeling left behind when a friend is pursuing a deeper career - you get to send them extra coffee for fuel to study. And notes that let them know that you’re rooting for them to succeed.

Instead of feeling jealous of big life achievements and adventures that a friend is going through - you get to help them paint their kitchen cabinets and eat pizza on the floor of their new house.

Instead of sitting in sorrow when a friend is experiencing new life - you get to hold that baby and let your friend shower and eat in peace. 

It’s really easy to let sin take over our hearts when people we are close to seem like they are getting ahead of you, when they are receiving what you’re praying for instead of it becoming true for you. 

Don't sit there. Get your pom poms out and put a scrunchy in that hair. (I hear it's cool now?) 

Lets take the focus off of ourselves. Let’s little by little - choose the gracious, excited, encouraging route. Let’s do it with an expectant and grateful heart. 

Go team go! 


communication stories

Shane at 3:36 pm: Kallie, there's a package that is going to be delivered tomorrow via fed ex, okay?"

Me: Okay. 

Shane at 5:59 pm: Hey Kallie, I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow fed ex is going to be bringing me a package. I'm not sure of the time.

Me: Okay. 

Shane at 7:01 am: Today at some point, I'm not sure when, fed ex is going to be dropping off a package. Okay, Kallie?

Me: Shane. You've told me this 3 times. I hear you, bud. 

And then we talked through why he's repeated this info and blah blah blah, I can't remember the rest. Maybe that's why we're struggling with conversations? Nah. 

When I saw the truck pull in the driveway this afternoon, I threw my fork across the dining table, jumped out of my chair, slid my feet into a pair of random shoes and bolted outside. Trying not to breath heavy, I thanked the nice employee for his service and tucked the folder under my arm so the windmill gusts couldn't take it from me. 

Then I sent Shane a video telling him that I got the mail. It's safe. And then asked him if he wanted me to tuck it in for a nap. 

He called me back after a while, "You think you're pretty funny, don't you?"

To which I replied, "Babe. I just want to be the laugh of your life."

And here are a few still shots of the video to prove to you that Shane is a lucky guy who sometimes gets to come home to a wife with no makeup on and sassiness to last a lifetime. 


July Recap.

I can't be the only person to feel like the summer went by way too fast, right? I know there's a whole month of glorious humidity left, but it seems the transition to fall starts creeping in as soon as the calendar page flips to August.

July was good to our family. And by good, I mean real good. 

Here's what worked:

Going to Mom's Group every week.
I joined a mom's group a couple months ago (that I legitimately was scared to go to ) and cannot begin to describe how good it has been for my heart to not only connect with women I didn't know very well - but to see how other families are doing life with such love and grace towards each other. Bonus points for the tasty snacks and learning how to be a better wife and mother myself.  Shane told me the other day that I don't seem to yell anymore. That's a win. Thanks, God.

Leaning into time with family. 
We immersed ourselves in family time this past month! July 4th was spent in Perry with Shane's Dad's side and that is always my favorite. Rhett and I cheered on a family member at the county fair, I spent ample time learning beside Grammie and we wrapped up the month going to Wisconsin for a couple days to hug extended family members and dreamed about having a lake house. Thankful doesn't even begin to cover it.

Going on nightly walks. 
This filled my bucket daily. It's purposeful, helps Shane and I to connect intentionally throughout the week, and keeps our priorities in perspective. Plus I like holding Shane's hand.

Getting my hair chopped off. 6 inches baby. She gone. I feel fun again! And I wear lipstick sometimes too. Who am I!?

Here's what didn't work:

Googling. Everyone knows that you should not look things up on the internet when you feel funny. Well, I apparently need this tattooed on my hand because I spent a good chunk of time worrying last month because of my own doing. Thank goodness for husbands who tell you to put the phone down. Just don't ever do it. 

Bedtime. Rhett's bedtime basically went out the window as soon as the sun started setting later, it's just so hard to go inside. And Shane and I? Don't even get me started. I think we're averaging a bedtime of 11:15-11:30 on a good night. We've got to figure out something different in August or I'm going to get even bigger bags under my eyeballs.

This month we're looking forward to the state fair (always!), a Cardinals game with family at the end of the month in St. Louis, and hopefully earlier bed times.

Let's do this!


a list on a monday.

Last night I went into crazy type A mode - which is highly unlike me, I like to call myself type D-. I started to go through our giant calendar month by month trying to plan it out so it keeps us doing fun things, but doesn't feel like a summer spent in the car. Final result? I'm not great at Type A things.

Speaking of yesterday. Shane and I spent the entire day 'bickering between our dentures.' Oh, you don't know what that is? Well. I have this theory. Old married people have spent their whole life arguing and they are done with it. Done so much that they have no energy to yell or give the silent treatment or let their tempers rise! So what do they do? They say slightly passive aggressive comments every now and again, they joke when they probably shouldn't, they are a touch rude, etc. At the end of the day I was tired of our denture clattering and told Shane that I was getting sensitive to his comments. I'm not sure what he said after that because I closed my eyelids and dreamt that we moved above a bakery and our house always smelled like sugar and I gained 30 pounds.

I started re-watching Parenthood as I cleaned the house last Saturday. Gosh that show. Brings all the feelings to my eyeballs.

I have tell the internet that I'm in love with this paint color and am trying my best not to slather my entire world with this shade of green. It's moody, traditional and just screams home to me.

Who's excited for May?! I love the beginning of the month. Fun things happen this month: the farmers market starts, we get to celebrate our mothers, more bike rides on the agenda, and the Peddlers Jamboree over Memorial Day.

I'll leave you with this picture of Rhett. It's the cutest.

Told ya. :)


February --> March

Things that worked for me in February:

Reading. I hear from women all the time they don't have time to read, and I'm here to tell you that you prioritize what you want. I keep a book in my diaper bag in case I have a little down time (thanks for the tip Mary Beth!), and try reach for a book over my phone most days.

Going to workout group consistently. My friend and I started a little workout group in town (that's free and you can bring your kids!) and it's been great to have a reason to get out the house and sweat it out with other women.

Vulnerable conversations with Shane. Because we value our marriage, we've been having deep conversations with each other about what temptations we're falling into, how to help each other and what we need from each other on a daily/weekly basis.

Getting ready for the day early. Aka - putting on jeans. Hear me out - I fully understand and know that little children can make it real hard to care for yourself, but LADIES. We all know that we feel better with a little dove soap and mascara. Not to mention I'm more confident and secure with myself when Shane gets home. Maybe it's not jeans for you, maybe it's just brushing your teeth.

Reading the actual bible. I attended the IF: Gathering at the beginning of the month and learned so much from these women who love the Lord. You know what these women probably don't do? Make excuses. I feel like for so long we have said to our girlfriends "Its okay that you aren't reading your bible or getting any quiet time in your life, you're busy." Hold up. We need every ounce of Jesus we can get to parent our children, to love our husbands and nurture our friendships well. And it starts with opening our bibles.

Things that didn't work for me in February:

Not being productive at nap time. I went through a couple weeks during the end of Jan and Feb where I didn't do much during nap time - and you know what? I felt even more tired when Rhett woke up.

Letting my emotions and feelings rule the school during hard conversations. There were a couple times last month that I sent out SOS texts to friends asking them to speak some wisdom in my life when the ledge was a little too close for comfort. This is an area that I stumble into often.

What I'm looking forward to in March:

-Planning out my flower garden and starting seedlings.
-Continuing to volunteer in the 2nd grade classroom at the grade school.
-Hosting a Noonday trunk show (!!!!!). I'm nervous. I'm not sure why.
-My beautiful and talented friend, Jess, coming to stay with us for a weekend. I need to wash the guest room sheets.

Let's do this, March.


Stretchy pants and earrings.

So, about a month ago was the yearly high school girls get together. It's usually not very formal and over the years the group has grown to include people that didn't even go to school with us but are now friends too.

I like that. More room at the table.

This year, four of us showed up. The plans went from a large group at a hipster wine location to a small, intimate group at the local bar just miles from each of our homes.

I'll be honest, I was pretty disappointed. I thought the night was going to be a waste.

"What is going to be so special about this? We see each other fairly often."

Uhhh, and then it was the best time.

We spent 4 hours talking about the simplicity of growing up in our small town. That small town life is what you make it - and we want it to be good. Not only for our children, but as mothers and wives too.

We laughed about not being invited to birthday parties that crushed our fragile hearts at 9 years old. About clothing fads and the people that we used to be.

My favorite moment of the night was when we all locked our pinky fingers and swore over loud music that we would try to be as average parents as possible and then shared goals and dreams for the next 10 years.

It was so wholesome. A few of us had lipstick on. Hair curled. Wearing earrings that can't be worn everyday due to little hands. The same little hands that bring out our insecurities and confidence all at once.

Who would have thought? The girls that used to play 'house' together are getting a chance to open our lives and homes to live in community together.

Thanks, God, for girl time that fills the bucket.

Moral of the story for ladies in high school? Be kind. You never know who you'll need in your corner someday.

And those people in your corner will more than likely be getting minivans and will laugh about it over carbs.

So invest in some good stretchy pants.


making room.

Can I be honest for a couple minutes? Like - real, looking you in the face, honest?

I’m not busy. 

My life is not busy. 

Shane and I are not torn between obligations or running our family around constantly. We actually often stare at each other asking, “So, what are we going to do this weekend?” 

My planner that I overspend on every year is most of the time used for to do lists instead of actual activities - and one time last week I let Rhett color all over it because he had a pen in his hand and I was done picking battles for the day. 

And let’s get even more honest here - I find myself jealous of people who are busy. 

"Oh we have plans every weekend from here until Christmas!"

"I’m sorry - I can’t stay long because I have another thing to be at in an hour."

"Between work and school and the activities there is no time on our family calendar."

Getting even more gritty - I associate busyness with having a life. Having purpose. 

I think busy people have a fuller life with more friends. 

I think busy people are better organizers - they have to be if they have so many things that need attention.

Not being busy and having quiet, slow days are hard for me. I can get restless and crabby. I start wondering what I’m doing with my life and start the whole comparison game. 

But (there’s always a but) - being quiet has been so good for me this past year. I have felt an overwhelming nearness from God, I have connected deeper with a few friends, with my husband, with myself and my maker. I wish I could tell you that I have meticulously made room for all of that - but that wouldn’t be true. 

Along the way, I have learned that God’s nearness alone has to be enough for me. I couldn’t feel him when I was busy - I was trying to cram so much in my life to feel valid as a human being instead of placing that identity in Christ.

A friend actually brought up my unhealthy addiction to busyness a couple years ago. We had decided to start running together right when I got off work. Her home was a couple blocks from my job and the plan was to change and head over there and sweat it out together. Easy peasy.
Being super awesome at follow through and priorities (heavy sarcasm there, I’m terrible) - 5 days a week turned to 3 days a week. Which turned to 1 day a week, which turned to “Gosh I really don’t want to run.” 

A couple weeks after we completely stopped - she confronted me about it. She was hurt. She felt like I had no time to be a friend, let alone run with her. I think her exact words were, “I know you have a lot on your plate, and a lot of friends, and it’s okay if you don't want to be mine.”

My heart broke. 

Unknowingly, I came across as too busy to be a friend. And I hated that because I loved (LOVE) her place in my life. Truth speaker. Encourager. Friend. 

My jealously of busy people is based on lies. The lie says, “Wow! Look at their amazing life! They have so many places of connection, so many friends. So much worth.”

And what I’ve had to train myself to believe is this: No. Being busy doesn’t make you better. It’s not who you are. It’s far from connectedness (what I crave most), and actually creates division in your life if you allow it to.

As our family grows and Rhett gets older, I’m sure this will start being more of a battle for our family. 

But I think this is the perfect season to sit in the stillness and become disciplined in the power of being unhurried. To love the slow moments. Creating time for more. 

More wagon rides. More waffle breakfasts. More outside time. More eating with friends standing up in their kitchen, connecting.  More simmering and less microwaving. 

More of that.