Dear Mr. B:

Thanks for capturing sweet moments between my Sister and I, without even trying. And thanks for knowing and understanding that quality time with her fills my bucket for months.



missouri bound

We're heading to St. Louis and Columbia for the long weekend!

I'm looking forward to not having to pick my towel up off the floor, exploring St. Louis, and coffee in the morning with my Mom and Sister.

What are you doing?


having a moment

Yesterday, I gave up.

I was standing in the garden looking at these gorgeous flowers while the sunset landed on them in the most beautiful way. Like a Mom holding her daughter after a first heartbreak. Almost tender. 

And I stood there, having a moment. 

Let me explain my definition of moments.  They go a little something like this:

"Kallie, the sky is blue." 

*2 months later while walking around Target looking at towels.*

"Oh my word. The sky is blue!" 

I'm sure some of you have it like me. A person can tell you something over and over and over - but then God swoops in all fancy like and says the same thing in a very calm voice, and you freak out because it feels like you've just had THE subway chocolate chip recipe given to you. 

And not in sloppy handwriting. That baby is TYPED OUT.

Such clarity. 

Well, that clarity hit me tonight. In the garden. And I gave up. 

I gave up the struggle. I gave up the tight death grip. 

I want to cling to something different. Something tangible and tasty. 

Like hope. 
And bravery. 
Something more than ordinary. 

Ya know. All those messy things. 

I also want to cling to Mr. B's leg when he gets home from work because someday there might be littles doing that and I don't want him to get out of shape in the meantime. 


vacation. well, sorta.

Mr. B is on "vacation" this week.

Every time I tell someone that, I laugh a little because a vacation to Mr. B entails getting up earlier than normal to go do farm work all day.

In 100 degree heat.

When I called him over lunch today to check in and be super nosey, he sounded like he was a 6 year old riding a roller coaster for the first time with cotton candy plastered all over his face.

Kallie! We just dropped off our first load of hay and it's going great! 

And I smiled and said a silent prayer - thanking Jesus for air conditioning.

In honor of him being on "vacation" I bought myself something.

It's going to rock your world.

Don't walk. RUN to Walmart. Or Target.

I added a little lot to my iced coffee this afternoon and sang to my coworkers. 

You can thank me later!


weekly picture

It's Friday and I'm still in my robe at 10:35.

Can I get an amen?

I just wanted to show you a photo that Mr. B snapped on a chilly summer evening. He was keeping it all to himself.

When I saw it I was all like, "How rude of you to keep this goodness to yourself. I will share it with the world." 

And he said, "Kal, you are free to do anything you want."

And I said, "I want to polka dot sheets."

And he said, "Me too!"

Wait. That was my daydream from yesterday.

Anyway. Isn't this beautiful?

I love it when he takes pictures of his work. He's proud and happy.

Which makes me proud and happy.

And do you see that little American flag on the tractor? That's my favorite part.


Just eat it.

There was a terrible accident on my way to work this morning.

The police had shut down half of the road and cars were being directed one by one in a line. I always find it ironic that with really bad accidents, come long slow lines. Just like at funerals. I hate it.

And of course as my car creeped slowly by the scene, I couldn't help it - I cried.

Then I got to work, and while I was re-applying my mascara, my coworker was talking about sending her senior off to his last first day of high school. Another coworker was taking her kindergartener to her first day of school. Another girl piped in about someone dying from cancer the day before and the sickness that her friend was fighting.

And in the middle of it all my boss walks in with Jaarsma donuts. Jaarsma. Donuts.

Now. All of us women know this hidden rule: eating donuts (or any junk food for that matter!) in front of other women is shameful. And when you want a second one? Honey, you just take that desire and turn it into a conversation about how you ran 5 miles this morning for your half marathon that you're training for.

Don't let them know. Conceal. Don't feel.

But you know what? I say eat the donut.

Celebrate the littlest of things. Life is happening, and you have no control over it. Those people in the accident woke up just like you and me.

What should I have for breakfast?
What am I going to wear today?
Why does my dog always jump on me? 

Just eat the donut.


another tuesday blog.

(Here's my sassy friend Elin. I really like this picture.)

I went home sick yesterday after I had been at work for 3 hours. It was embarrassing and awful. 

And I have this theory: right next to the gates of hell, there's a door to your left. Do you know what's happening in there? People getting sick in the the worst places. 

These places include:

The middle of nowhere, but on the interstate. You're welcome. 
A family vacation where you all share one cabin. 
Your work place. Where everyone can hear you throwing up because the bathroom door is right by the main hallway. 

Basically when I woke up this morning, I was scared to eat. 

So I didn't have coffee. 

Then had a banana for lunch - good news! It's still in my stomach. 

Then I yelled at my husband on the way home from work because I was tired, crabby, and still haven't figured out how to run my life with my new job. 

And ever since I got off the phone, Jesus and I have been chatting and here's the juicy detail: I need the most grace. Everyday. There is not one person in this world that needs it more than me. 

And because I'm the one that needs it? I'm also the one that needs to give it. 


Just kidding. I'm impatient. And short tempered. 

Ok fine! I'm basically crazy. You can find me on the struggle bus 99% of the time. 

Anyway, I just needed to get that out there because writing helps me. And I just asked google the question, "can a person have wine on a tender stomach? asking for a friend." and google said yes. 

Love you all! (Hi Grandma!)

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