mans best friend? eh no.

A couple  summers ago I got attacked by a dog. I was running on a road and all the sudden I saw a dog charge toward me. In an instant it was trying to jump on me and bite me. It was horrible, and it ruined my favorite blue shorts. I will never forgive that dog.

Wait, does that mean I'm not supposed to take communion?

Anyway, now I'm scared. Every time I see a dog that isn't on a leash I tense up and immediately think that it is going to attack me. I can't help it. That stupid dog made me scared of all dogs. I trust no dog.

Well, hot dogs are okay.

On my walk today it's brought to my attention that there is a little grey 'yip yip' dog that is in a front yard, without a leash on. Knowing that my own dog was still mad at me for practically choking her on our walk, I knew I was on my own if the little dog chased me. Naturally, I started thinking about ways to get out of this alive.

First, I would kick the dog in the head.

Second, I would spray the dog with mace.

As we walked past the yard, the little grey dog starts yipping and beelines it toward my dog and I.

So I took off like a dirty shirt and never looked back.

Can everyone just put their dog on a leash?

Oh, and I had to change my underwear when I got home in case you were wondering.