Muskogee, OK

On my way to Texas this past weekend, I got to know the town of Muskogee quite well.

Here's why.

As I'm driving down the road, my tire low light comes on. Being the cautious driver that I am, I pulled over to check my tires and found out that two of my valve caps wouldn't come off.

*Ring Ring*

"Heeeeeello," answered Mr. B

"Hey. My valve caps won't come off, so I can't check my tires to see if they are okay and my low tire light is on." I whined.

"Do you have something to get them off?" he asked.

"Yea, a vice grip. And I put it on there and it still won't budge." I confidently answered.

"You're doing it wrong then." he said.

Psh, homeboy still hasn't figured out that I don't do anything wrong.

So I keep driving as the light is still on, and I approach Muskogee. I pull over again to try and get the caps off and this time I clamp it on the cap and turn.


The valve stem broke in half and my tire immediately deflates.

"Shane!!! (sniff sniff) My (sniff) tire (sniff sniff) is completely deflated (sniffffff) and I don't know how to change it and I only have a donut to drive on!" I bawled. 

So I called my Dad, who called a towing service, who had two very nice gentlemen come change my tire.

"Sweetheart, you look like you been cryin." 

Thanks for pointing that out captain obvious. Good thing they had a southern drawl or I might have kicked them in the shin.

After they put the donut on they showed me to Walmart. Who stayed open late just to fix Rosa.

I guess I shouldn't bash Walmart anymore.

Here's what I learned that night:

Muskogee is a pretty sweet town.
Don't leave your vice grip on the ground, Mexicans will steal it.
Rosa has a slight hangnail problem.
Don't get in the car with strangers that offer to take you to Texas.
Do wear waterproof makeup so you don't look like a hot mess when meeting very polite southern boys.

Got that?

1 comment:

Kaela said...

Okay, couple things... 1) Vice Grips. 2) Umm... What do you mean you learned that night not to get into the car with strangers that offer to take you to Texas?!?!?!?!?!? You didn't, right??? That's not a lesson you learned the hard way, right??? And actually, I'd venture to say that you would be better off following that rule ALL the time, not just with those offering to take you to Texas! Just, as a general rule, leave the second part of that sentence off: "Don't get in the car with strangers." :P