Coach.

I think I've missed my calling.

Today I found some stop watches in the drawer at work. I was going about my business looking for a pair of scissors and that's when I spotted them. Hiding so quietly underneath some old papers in all their glory. I picked one up and immediately placed it around my neck.

Who can I time with this? I wondered.

Suddenly I found myself informing my co-workers that I was going to time them doing appointments. It's pretty much a blur from then on, but I might have breathed down their neck with a stop watch in hand saying, Go! Faster! What is this, the girl scouts?


No pressure or anything.

Then we had some races to see who could tie a patient in the fastest. I may or may not have lost.

And I may or may not have scared a patient along the way.

"Are you doing alright?" I asked lovingly.

"Gshpennmmmhhmm."

 I don't think I'll ever learn not to ask questions when they can't answer.

Oh well, nothin' a little stop watch action can't solve!