I win.

Yep, I win at most embarrassing story of the year. 

More embarassing than this.

Thank the Lord for braces. 

It all started at Oceans of Fun. Where you see tons of women who probably shouldn't be wearing itsy bitsy bikinis, people going into the bathroom wearing no shoes (gross!), babies without swim diapers on, "I Love Shelby, Mary, Paula" tattoos, and crabby old ladies who wouldn't let me into the adult pool because they didn't think I was 21. I blame those ladies for my embarrassment because if I could have gone into the adult area, I wouldn't have gone to the slide that goes straight down in one shot. 

I used to love these slides, until now when I almost died. I waited in line for a little while, and was pretty excited about going down really fast and quick. So here I am, sitting at the top when the lifeguard tells me I can go down. I put my hands over my bathing suit (because or else it would fly up, right?) and push myself off. 

Whhhheeee---Wait! I can't breathe because the water it hitting my face! I try putting my head up, that didn't help. So I decided to plug my nose, that didn't work. Finally I just decided to hold my breathe until the end of the ride. Whooooooosh-I hit the water.

By now I've been holding my breath for what seems like years so I jump high out of the water like free willy and gasp for air. Only to find out that my bathing suit top, is gone. I frantically try to cover myself but the lifeguard has already seen me shoot out of the water topless (awesome.) and is now yelling at me telling me to get out of the pool because I'm taking too long. 

So here I am, trying to put my top on and get out of the pool at the same time so someone else can come down, with the lifeguard telling me again to hurry up---and to top it off I have a wedgie. 

See? I win.

What did I learn? I'd make a horrible Eve. But a great candidate for the playboy mansion!

I guess I can cross that off my to do list.